Friday, May 6, 2011

A Confession

I'd always intended to post more regularly.  The last couple of months have been fairly eventful with the 3/11 earthquake and work has been... stressful.

I wouldn't be unique, I'm quite sure, in saying (repeating, in fact) that time is always the enemy.  There's never enough of it--or maybe I'm just pisspoor at using it effectively--so towards the end of February, I started to think I should just give it all up.  The writing I mean.  Of course it's a lot of work.  Of course I want to be able to devote adequate attention to it.  Of course I want to produce something that I find valuable.  Of course I want to share the results with others who may also find some inherent value.  But in the end, there's a whole lot of wanting and not much in the way of satisfaction.

I really shouldn't complain.  I have a job (at least I did before Golden Week...), I have a roof over my head and food to eat (could even spare a little of the latter), I have a wonderful wife and daughter, both of whom I love dearly.  So... what?  I don't really need anything. 

But I want.

Writing is to me, I suppose, what religion is to others.  I don't put on special clothes or chant or anything, but it's that unquantifiable thing--the spiritual thing, I guess--that keeps me going.  The stories have a life of their own in the back of my mind and they always make themselves heard.   The stories may not be good, they may have dead ends, but they speak to me.

It took about two months for me to start rising out of the funk that began at the end of February.   What this means, number one, is that, hopefully, there will be more frequent posting here.  What this also means is that I think I'm going to forgo pursuing the traditional publishing route.  I'm not giving up on my desire to be published, not yet, anyway, but am actively considering alternatives.

King Yellow is on hiatus.  All Things Comfortable, too.  I'm not going to make any promises until I can provide concrete, factual details on the project I've just started.  Updates to follow.

No comments:

Post a Comment