A slightly different direction for my nemesis, the query letter.
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Dear Agent,
Jav Holson is one of the Viscain Empire's elite soldiers, given immense power by the Emperor's gift of an Artifact. But his Artifact, the Ritual Mask, was never meant to last, and when it fails, Jav is a dead man. Unless, that is, he can win a new, permanent Artifact in a competition to be held in five years.
With the Ritual Mask sealed away to conserve its power, Jav trains in the Eighteen Heavenly Claws on Planet 1287. He practices long past dark every day, taking time only to carve stone flowers for Lili Farina, the girl he accidentally put into a coma on his first day there. Amid punishing training conditions and with the competition still ahead, Jav struggles for control, balancing his raw ability against the latent power of the Mask, which is always there, just outside the reach of his senses. If the seal is broken, he runs the risk of exhausting the Mask completely, but also of losing himself to its insatiable thirst for blood, and that he just can't have. Especially not when fellow student Mai Pardine has started to remind him of a lover he's never met.
THE ARTIFACT COMPETITION is a work of science fiction, complete at 76,000 words. I chose to submit to you because blah blah blah. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Me
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